Your Kid Wants Squeakee The Balloon Dog For Christmas

With Prime Day in the books, it is fair to say that Christmas shopping season is officially in full swing. This year’s hottest toy is a balloon dog. Yes, I’m serious. His name is Squeakee the Balloon Dog, and he costs $60. According to the official tagline on the Amazon page, you can “Feed Him, Teach Him Tricks, Pop Him, and Watch Him Deflate!” That’s right, folks: You can pop and deflate your very own balloon animal for just $60. Building balloon animals is a skill that must really be in demand these days. Who knew?

In fairness to the many, many parents who will attempt to win their children’s affection by buying Squeakee this year, $60 may not be an unreasonable price for a balloon animal. After all, a genuine Jeff Koons balloon animal will set you back about $10,000. In comparison, Squeakee looks like quite the steal.

Plus, Squeakee will do WAY more tricks than a Koons sculpture ever will. Turns out it offers more than the verisimilitude of a real-life balloon. Squeakee can sit and stand, and he can react to both touch and the sound of your voice. He can also “cut the cheese,” and even urinate. No idea whose idea those were, but I have no doubt they tested well in the focus groups.