Business
Is ‘Gorilla Glue Girl’ A Viral Ad?
For what seems like weeks, but which has probably been only a few days, the words “Gorilla Glue” are everywhere you turn. Whether your online media diet consists mainly of tabloids, such as TMZ or the New York Post, or more traditional “mainstream” options like the New York Times and CNN, the story about the Louisiana woman formerly known as Tessica Brown has been inescapable.
If you’ve been living under a rock, Brown first became famous as “Gorilla Glue Girl” on—where else?—TikTok. In a viral video, she explained that her hair had been stuck together for an entire month after she ran out of her usual product and used heavy duty Gorilla Glue adhesive spray instead. Understandably, this caused her much trauma, and she has become a sort of cause célèbre. Famous people like Chance the Rapper have tweeted their support, and total strangers have donated a combined $20,000 on GoFundMe.
Are people serious right now? I have no idea if “Gorilla Glue Girl” is really a Gorilla Glue plant or if she is just extremely stupid, but who in their right mind would douse their hair with Gorilla Glue? Even if you’ve somehow never heard of the super-strong brand of adhesive, take a look at the name on the bottle! It’s not called “Baby Chimp Glue” after all.
Supposedly “Gorilla Glue Girl” is going to sue the company, because although the product contains myriad warnings about keeping away from your eyes, skin and other body parts, hair is notably absent from the disclaimers. This is just like when that idiot sued McDonald’s for millions because she did not know the coffee would be hot. Traditionally I root for the little guy against the big bad corporation, which is not likely to suffer from a couple hundred thousand dollar payout, but I’m sorry, someone who sprays their hair full of Gorilla Glue and doesn’t expect consequences should not be trusted with any amount money.
At the end of the day, I am still hoping this turns out to be either “guerrilla marketing” on the part of Gorilla Glue (no pun intended). Even whatever that would mean—i.e. the complete capitulation of the so-called news media to the suits at whatever brand agency does Gorilla Glue’s ads—is a less depressing thought than the alternative: that someone really did spray their hair with Gorilla Glue and got rewarded for it.